Brand Nouveau: Grimes

Electro pop tart Grimes’ latest album, Visions, is in heavy rotation on my playlists.  Her quirky style inspired my latest nail concoction.  Do you know why I downloaded her album?  Because the Gucci Goth Tumblr posted a picture of her with the announcement of the album’s upcoming drop, and she looked totally adorable.  So tough and so cute, walking down an alley with cotton candy pastel bangs and a floral dress with badass boots.

The image informed how the music hit me.  I had this whole cinematic image of this goth pixie wandering the night streets, looking for someone to buy her a Slurpy and take her to a rave.  Soon the video for her single, Oblivion, appeared on my Tumblr dashboard.  It depicts Grimes, aka Claire Boucher, dancing with free spirited abandonment in a grunged out fit at, of all places, a dirt bike race!  It was too perfect, and Oblivion became one of my favorite songs on the album.    To top it off, my favorite It writer, Tao Lin, gave her a nod on his Twitter.  I had to admit, the hype had got me.

I watched a video of her being interviewed, and she didn’t come off as the average indie It Girl.  She had an excitable nerdy charm, and without all the make up from her editorial pics, she had a little acne, signaling the lack of fucks that she gives with regards to what people think.  It is revealed that she also made her metal inspired album covers.  She’s not just some product of the hype beast.  She’s a thoughtful artist who deserves all the attention that she’s getting.  I’m convinced that next, I’m going to find out that someone created her in a lab with me in mind.

We are a culture of brands.  There are a million people out there that can sing, dance, or throw some tunes together on Garage Band, and in that massive shuffle, you have to create a slick package to deliver your art.  An artsy fart like me is hesitant to give credence to branding.  It really freaked me out when I started to see copies of Catcher in the Rye at Urban Outfitters because I felt like The Man was exploiting my culture for the sake of their brand, but creative branding has been turning out some really innovative shit.  Consider Odd Future or the ASAP crew.  Both groups have their own unique sound that could probably stand on its own without the attached imagery, but the collective vibe of their brands catapulted them into superstardom.  Branding doesn’t always come from corporate zombies in suits.  It comes from creative minds who are truly about pushing their ideas as far as possible.

Tumblr Rich

YO BROKE ASS COULDN’T HAVE A NARNIA ROOM IF YOU WANTED TO!!!

No, sweetie, this pink hair isn’t Manic Panic, I got it done at a salon in Paris.

You want to know how hot these American flag platforms are?  Let’s just say it’s enough to talk reblog shit.

You’d better get your girl, because she’s been hearting pics of my fresh new kicks all night.

We’re out on the beach, gazing from our perch on a sand dune.  The muted colors of the overwhelmingly beautiful sunset are too subtle to capture on our phone cameras.  My cousin declares that when he’s rich, he’s going to buy a $900 camera so he can take a proper picture of the sunset and post it on Tumblr.  I was tickled by this statement because for me, it echoed fledgeling rappers who pine for huge rims and icy chains.  People talk shit about how tacky hood rich is because its all about being flashy and throwing your wealth into other people’s faces, but us artsy mother fuckers have our own way of stunting.

Two things really motivate me in life: Gucci Mane Lyrics and my Tumblr dashboard.  You “heart” a leopard print Volkswagen Beetle because someday, you want something like that in your life.  You post pictures of you new limited edition Doc Martens because somewhere out there is a girl who’s scratching and tweaking for those Doc Martens, and this gives a feeling of smug satisfaction.  You and that girl are both going to hustle harder in your endeavors as bloggers or amateur stylists so that one day you, too, will be Tumballing.

Tumballing is about the details.  You need to stand out on the endless shuffle of your followers’ dashboard!  Everything from buttons to shoelaces can be glorified with an Instagram photo, so you’ve got to be on your shit.  Nothing is too mundane.  Your toilet paper should have little pictures of foxes on it and your doorknobs should be bedazzled.  If you don’t have the funds for Etsy products and high end vintage shopping, scour your grandparents house.  You might find a Chanel bag, or a banging-ass gem sweater.  No one on Tumblr will know that your grandfather’s old Rolex doesn’t tick anymore.  There’s also an “and one” factor to Tumballing.  You may have have cute nails, but are you holding a Swisher blunt?  Your new necklace will really pop if its draped over a weird ceramic frog.

One day, I’m going to have a loft apartment with a roof garden presided over by a six foot stone Buddha.  My china tea set will be painted with dainty gloved hands giving the finger.  My living room will have velvet beanbag chairs, my curtains will depict Tenniel’s Alice in Wonderland illustrations, and all my kitchen utensils will be purple.  AND I’ll make sure that my cousin is around to take pictures with his $900 camera so everyone on the Internet will know that we’re about that life.